I told the Husband I was on the verge of crying just now.  This whole maid thing was so tiring to handle.  First we got wrong advice from the maid agency, and then they kept pushing the blame here and there, we kept being charged this and that, but we have no maids at home at all.  Finally they admitted they were wrong and this morning she apologised and told me to tell my mom she's sorry also, but damage is done (cheh!) 

So now we are trying to figure something out.  Hopefully by Saturday we will have a solution. 

I don't need the maid urgently actually.  No, actually I do, but only because I don't want to burden my mom who thinks it's quite tiring to take care of my 2 babies coz they are so active.  I feel really bad, I want to take leave from work, but I can't, and Husband can't also.  We suggested to my mom that we will send them to the inlaws, but my mom was against it, so in the end I just feel so hopeless and tired and sad.  Sigh.

I'm not always like this.  In fact the Husband told me this whole thing came at the wrong time, it came while I'm having my emo period (women shd get this, hah!)  so that's why I'm more stressed out, and thinking more emotionally about this.  Maybe he's right. 

I told the Husband though, if this maid really doesn't work out, let's say in the midst of her contract she decides she wants out, or she does something stupid like the previous one did, then I will stand firm and not take a maid anymore. 

Either the kids go to childcare, or I will be a housewife. 

He said ok, and I'm glad :)

However that's not a decision I'm really prepared to take, so I really hope the maid will be good, haha.  I do kindof love my job.  When I was on maternity leave, I dreaded going back to work because I love spending time with my babies, but I did miss my job. 

Imagine, I missed my job when I was being paid to sit at home.. what more if I quit and no salary, and I need some $$, lagi rindu kan?!  Haha. 

Husband is confident we will be ok even if I quit, but I will miss my friends here and the sense of ... accomplishment (?) at the end of the day.  I dare say the feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction will be more if I'm a housewife though ... but I dunno, I'm really not sure if I'm ready for that.  Unless my Husband decides for me and say yes you must be a housewife, I don't approve of you working (haha! can't imagine that scenario!  he's so laidback.)  Or if the co don't want me anymore.. which will mean there's no choice for me. 

But on the whole ... I kindof like working. 

Sigh I don't know lah.  I am so tired liaising with all these people, I just wanna crawl up into a hole and sleep.  Or go on a long holiday far away with the kids and my suami. 

Yes the 2nd option is the one I want most right now.  Sighhhh.