Friday Khutbah taken from here

(another link here)

I copypasted this Friday Khutbah here because Mazreen talked to me about it a little bit when he came back from masjid sultan on friday.. and I went to look it up and found it a good one. I think it's a message that needs to be passed around to every single man here in Singapore. Haha.

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Majlis Ugama Islam Singapura
Friday Sermon
5 June 2009 / 11 Jamadilakhir 1430
Building a Marriage Based on Love and Trust

My dear brothers in Islam,

Let us increase our taqwa to Allah SWT by fulfilling all that Allah has commanded and refraining from all that Allah SWT has forbidden. May our taqwa, sincerity and continuous contributions make us an example and model for others.

My dear brothers rahimakumullah,

Allah SWT says in Surah Rum verse 21 :

And among His signs is this: He creates for you partners out of your own kind, so that you might find tranquility in them, and He brings you together through love and mercy: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think!

Today’s sermon will discuss about marriage. Marriage is an important institution in Islam. It is the basis and the foundation of a community. If the marriage institution is weak, then the community will become weak. If it is strong, then the community will be strong and continue to grow from strength to strength.

Let us move a few steps back and ask ourselves a few questions. Why did we marry in the first place? Was it love and attraction, or was it due to other needs, whether to fulfill our desires and physical needs?

Many of us may say that we got married because of love. But is love alone enough to maintain a happily married life? The answer is definitely no! Look around us and ask those who have had successful marriages the secret to their success. We will hear from them that the main factor to sustain a marriage is high level of commitment and trust from both husband and wife.

My dear brothers,

When we went through the nikah ceremony, we have stated a strong commitment to the responsibility that we took upon ourselves. A commitment to ourselves, to our wives, to our family, that we are committed to look after them and secure their best interests whatever happens. We will stay by our wives through thick and thin and we will solve all problems, big or small. This is our commitment. Islam takes responsibilities very seriously, especially this responsibility, as it is a daily one and to the closest people to us in life.

Allah says in Surah An-Nisa verse 58:

Which means: Allah has ordered you to discharge your responsibilities towards those to whom they are due.

Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) also said in a hadith:

Which means: One who is not trustworthy is not complete in his iman, and one who does not fulfill his promises is not complete in his religion.

Dear brothers,

Arguments and quarrels are part and parcel of a marriage. But it will only strengthen our relationship and we would understand our spouses more. We will know their likes and dislikes and in the future, refrain from repeating those mistakes. There were even misunderstandings between the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his wives. This is to remind us that misunderstandings should not cause a breakup of the marriage institution.

So we would have misunderstandings in our marriage life. The issue here is how to deal with this misunderstanding. In any quarrel between husband and wife, we must always remember that we are in the same team. We are in the same boat traversing the ocean towards our own destination together with our children. We have the same objective and we must work together to ensure that the boat does not sink, despite the strong waves and currents.

Remember that Allah has created man and woman with some differences. On top of that, each one of us has a different and unique personality. We need to give and take to ensure that our marriage is a happy one. Being married alone does not give us the assurance that we will become good husbands or wives. We must learn and educate ourselves on how to be good husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, even grandfathers and grandmothers. Read up more. Attend seminars and lectures to upgrade our knowledge on how to become better husbands.

Be patient and think positively about our spouse. Look at our wives with love and compassion. Remind ourselves of all the sacrifices and contributions from our wives for us. Look at their good points and turn away from their weaknesses. Be a man. Stick to our commitment and vow. Make our marriage work.


Our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) said :

The best among you is the best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.

Let us remind ourselves of the doa/prayer taught by Allah to us in Surah Al-Furqan verse 74:

And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.

May Allah SWT give us taufik and guidance and may He provide us with strength to lead our families well. May Allah place love and compassion in our hearts. Aamin Ya Rabbal ‘Aalamin.

Labels: Islam, khutbah