Islamic Religious Council of Singapore
Friday Sermon
12 June 2009 / 18 Jamadilakhir 1430
The Role of Parents in Nurturing Children

Dear blessed congregation,
Let us increase our taqwa to Allah S.W.T by strengthening our relationship with Him, and improving our relationship with fellow mankind. At the same time, let us refrain from all acts that will distance us from Allah S.W.T, and from those that will cause friction and hate among us. May we be blessed with success and happiness as a community that strives towards excellence in this world and the hereafter.

My dear brothers,
Let us be grateful to Allah S.W.T. for the abundance of ni’mah (blessings) that our Creator has bestowed upon us. One of the great blessings is our beloved children. Allah S.W.T. has mentioned in the Qur’an several times pertaining offspring, such as in Surah Zukhruf verse 28:

“And he made it (the Kalimah Laa ilaha illa Allah – no one but Allah) a Word lasting among his offspring, so that they may turn back (repent to Allah or receive admonition)."

My dear brothers,
For us to show our love and adoration towards our children, we will have to focus our attention in educating them and giving them the proper tarbiyah – i.e. nurturing and upbringing. All these should start from home. Immediate family members who are close to the children will be role models to them.

We should educate our children from young, and not leave making mistakes without advising them. It will become increasingly more difficult to correct a person when he has grown up. Our beloved Prophet s.a.w. advised children who had done wrong by pointing out their mistakes, and he did so with compassion and kindness.

As can be seen in the hadith of Saiyidina Hasan r.a., in which he narrated how he once took a tamar (date) that was meant for sadaqah (charity), and the Prophet stopped him and told him to remove the date from his mouth. The Prophet explained that the dates were meant for sadaqah, and that sadaqah was not allowed for the Prophet or his family. (Hadith narrated by Imam Ahmad)

As we can see, the Prophet did not leave Hasan without explaining to him clearly and wisely why it was wrong for him to have done so. What a beautiful lesson for all of us from our belove Prophet s.a.w.!

My dear brothers,

It is thus important for us to educate and nurture our children well. Education begins with us, as parents or responsible guardians. Our children are like a piece of clean white cloth – we will colour and put a design to it. Our main responsibilities are to instill and highlight moral values with hikmah, patience and tolerance, as well as teach them the core teachings and tenets of Islam. Allah mentions in Surah Taha verse 132:

“And enjoin prayers on your family, and be patient in offering them.”

The Prophet s.a.w. said, “Enjoin your children to perform the solat (prayers) when they are seven years old.” (Narrated by Imam Ahmad)

It is thus important for us to set a good example and place the importance of religion upon our children. As parents, we can show them that we love and care for them from young, and we can balance that with tinges of firmness and discipline towards them, but discipline with mercy, tolerance and patience.

From these simple yet subtle and graceful mannerisms, our children can grow to become good and righteous individuals, inshaAllah. For this, let us look at three ways we can become better and more successful parents.

First, we have to exercise just and fairness towards our children. Any certain kind of unfairness or favouritism that we display may sway them to the path of unrighteousness, making them develop hatred towards others. All these should be stopped right from the beginning. Our beloved Prophet s.a.w. said, "Fear Allah and be fair to your children." (Narrated by Abu Daud)

My dear brothers,

Secondly, we must adopt a positive approach to nurture and educate our children. We must use positive words if we need to correct their behaviour. We must refrain from using negative styles of correcting them, such as shouting at them or raising our voice in a harsh and unnecessary way. Look at our children with compassion and mercy. Talk to them like how we love to be talked to.

My dear brothers,

Thirdly is du’a. When we have done our best to educate our children, together with the support of our partners, never forget to pray to Allah S.W.T and ask Him to keep them on the straight path. We have no absolute power; it is in the Hands of Allah.

We must make du’as not just for ourselves but for our family, and that we be given strength to become forgiving towards our offspring. Just like what the Prophets did, in this instance Prophet Ibrahim ‘alaihissalaam prayed to Allah, in Surah Ibrahim verse 40:

“O my Lord, make me one who offers prayers perfectly, also from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation."

Hopefully, when we strive to do this sincerely, we will be blessed with success so that these future leaders of ours will be able to lead their families and contribute to society. May Allah s.w.t. grant us His mercy and help Amin Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin.

Labels: Islam, khutbah