Here's the whole update about the whole resignation thingy. I actually did a short one on IG this morning but it looked too messy so I deleted it off.. and afterall what are blogs for, if not to share lengthy stories? Haha.

It's no secret that the last maid taking care of the kids totally failed, and she was sent back to Indon, and ever since then the Husband and I had been thinking nonstop about the kids' care. I knew my mom cannot cope taking care of them single-handedly coz they are veryvery kecoh, haha.  So we were left with 2 options. Infantcare for Sufia while my mom looked after Hyder (coz he'll be in Primary 1 next year, so we can put him in afterschool care) or I quit my job.

So we tried infantcare first. We went to one at Tampines, Muslim-owned and new and really lovely. I liked it, but unfortunately Sufia cried each time I left, and I really didn't have the heart to leave her there.  I knew it was normal for babies to cry in the first month or more even, but I'm the biggest wuss I know, haha, and I told the Husband I cannot live life dreading every single morning for the next coming month!

So we were left with the last option - quit my job and be a housewife and look after the kids myself.

It felt like such a HUGE decision. This was my 10th year working here, and while I've always said I want to be a housewife before Hyder gets into P1, I still felt like I wasn't ready. While it will be great being there for my kids 24/7, I still think .. u know .. financial independence is the key issue. If anything were to happen, hey at least I'm earning my own income.

I didn't pray istihara, but in my daily solats, I asked for guidance, I asked for signs, and there were so many, most pointing to quitting. 

So on 1st April, I submitted my letter of resignation to my manager, who is also one of my closest friends ever. We had a long talk, and she told me to take a week to really think about it.

2nd of April, my kids and husband fell sick. I took 3 days leave to look after them.

On 8 April, I told her yes, I am really leaving.

She and another colleague gave another suggestion - unpaid leave for a few months.

I asked the Husband on that night and he said no.

So on 9 April, she went to pass my letter to the GM.

I thought it was all gonna be clear cut from then on, so I started telling my close colleagues about my decision and sigh, it was just so sad. I felt SO sad. I teared up every other moment and tried to laugh it off, but hoh mah gawd it was hard, haha.

Around 3pm, my GM went to meet my manager and AM, and told them to offer me unpaid leave between 3 to 6 months to settle my stuff (find a caretaker for Sufia, etc etc) told them take a temp worker if they need... basically telling me to reconsider.

I never knew it was this hard to leave!! And I never knew I had such great bosses!!

They gave me 2 days to think about it, and so I went home, and discussed further with the husband.

Honestly at this point, I left it all up to him, and of course Him too.  I kept having mini prayers in my heart, Ya Allah please guide my husband to the right decision.

On Wednesday night my husband said ok take up the offer lah. Take these 4 months to really decide what's best, and do whatever arrangements you think you wanna do, or see if you really wanna be a housewife or not.

The next day I went to meet my manager and told them about the decision, and so ... we decided that I'll be on no-pay leave (NPL) from 1st May 2013 til 02 Sept 2013. It's almost like maternity leave except that my babies aren't tiny anymore, haha!

Also, if I decide to leave after my NPL, they will let me go.

Honestly .... I'm looking forward to the NPL soooo much! I'm kinda tired of working and rushing home and only spending minimal time with the kids and all that ... I wanna learn to cook (hahaha) and play with my kids and take them out and go more classes at the masjids and exercise (oh yes I must!) and everything Insha Allah.

I also need to take this time to really get used to being dependent on income coming in only from the Husband. And for this, I gotta say, Alhamdulillah for husband's income that will allow me to be a housewife (although on a temporary basis at the moment). It might get a bit tight sometimes I guess, but rezeki semuanya datang dari Allah, so may He make it enough and full of barakah... amin!

So yeah,that's the whole story. Please make doa for us that all will go well .. thank you :)